If you’ve been reading my blog for even a short amount of time, you should come to realize I’m a delicate flower. There are some things I just don’t do. Especially when it comes to house projects. When I was single, I managed projects with:
- 1-800-paint-guy
- 1-800-grasscutter-guy
- 1-800-carpetshampooer-guy
- 1-800-massage-guy
(Please note – these are not actual phone numbers.)
Thankfully, not only is my husband the all around outdoors guy but he is my 1-800-houseproject-guy. But when you’re the wife of the 1-800-houseproject-guy, the guilt kicks in and you feel obligated to help. So you’re put on cleanup duty and other similar tasks.
It is also important I note; I’ve never had a toothache or a cavity or a broken bone. Knock on wood. I had stitches once when I was 21 and because of my hysterical childlike emergency room behavior, the doctor put a Charlie Brown bandage on my whole 3 stitches.
Saturday house project duty: Re-decorating our bedroom. Wallpaper removal, painting, etc.
I was on cleanup duty clearing out the room and washing all the bedding. So I headed downstairs with my arms full of sheets and blankets.
Sgt Narantic (My hunter’s general foreman name during house projects): Where were you?
Me: Umm I fell down the stairs like Sherry in Alabama.
Sgt Narantic: Oh good god Jody.
Me: I can’t even do grunt work.
Sgt Narantic: Why didn’t you yell for me.
Me: Because you’re the guy that gushes blood and doesn’t even realize you’re bleeding. You’d probably tell me take it like a man and give me 20.
Sgt Narantic: What did you hurt?
Me: When I got to the bottom 2nd stair I twisted my left ankle and my whole left leg went with it. With a rug burn on my arm and back.
Sgt Narantic: Jody when you say you fell down the stairs, I’m thinking you fell down all the stairs. Not just the bottom 2.
Me: If I didn’t eat cupcakes I’d show you the humongous bruise I probably have on my back.
Sgt Narantic: Can you go get the paint without dropping it on your toe?
Me walking away: If my ankle didn’t hurt right now I’d stomp out of this room. And if you think I’m standing in the kitchen cooking steak, potatoes and a vegetable tonight you better think again. I’m calling 1-800-pizza-guy.
Have a good day all … I have an appointment with 1-800-massage-guy.
Image by: vali_muga
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Hope you’re recovering, Jody! I wish I could be my wife’s 1-800-everything-guy, but she’s had to settle for
1-800-lawnmowing-guy,
1-800-dogfeeding-guy,
1-800-takethekidshiking-guy, and
1-800-spaghettioschef-guy.
I think I would have injured my ankle too. I hate painting. I hate everything about it.
Jody, you obviously fell more gracefully than I. I made such a commotion, everybody in the house and half the neighborhood came running!
LOL Jody.. glad you didn’t break anything you might need later, and isn’t it just like a guy to ask “what did you hurt?” lol
I see your fall didn’t get you out of work. Huh. At least you didn’t have to do 20 pushups.
My hubby has all the home improvement ideas and then expects me to execute them… as in get them done, not line them up for the firing squad (a much better idea in my opinion)
Glad you weren’t hurt too bad!
Wow, Jody, you and I could be twins. That so sounds like something I would do. I’m also a big fan of the 1-800 guys, since I have zero DIY skills. I’m glad you managed to survive your fall relatively unscathed.
I’m glad you’re ok. I have never had a tooth ache until recently. I go to the dentist (1st time in 10+ years) and they tell me what they told me 10 years ago: the wisdom teeth need to go. Now I remember why I quit going lol.
Glad to hear you’re not laid up with a broken ankle or arm or anything for that matter! If I have a renovation idea in our home, my (yes, I have a Sargent, too) hubby says, “Well, that sounds like a good idea! Do you need a hand getting the tools (tarps, shop vac, etc.) from the shop?” He’ll help me set up and let me do the work then give me a critique…or worse yet, he’ll critique me several times during the project. I have given up on renovations. I’d rather read your blogs.
Thank you all! Nice to know most of you are the same way.
Is there a number for 1-800- gut out my elk guy? There needs to be. I’m getting to old to bend that far over.
I love your “wife” attitude… I’m still trying to get my wife to read your blog. I’m very jealous of your hunter! Alas, she has our 19 month old and 7 week old to contend with right now… so I cut her HUGE amounts of slack. This WNY Deer Hunter did laundry, cooking and cleaning during the recent deer hunting season here in NY. Needless to say the only time I seen a deer was the one I just missed with my car the 1st week of shotgun season. It was my only chance… I tried, but missed him.