Last night, while in the middle of cooking dinner, I noticed I was missing about 8 forks.
How does 8 forks go missing?
So I said to Hazel (the hunting husband), who has been home on vacation for the past 2 months and in charge of most of the cooking, cleaning, etc …
Where are all the forks?
Jody, I don’t know.
So rather than start an argument over 8 forks missing, I went about my kitchen business mumbling to myself.
And making sure he heard me …
How does 8 forks go missing?
Does someone not know where the forks go?
How in the world does 8 &*^&&ing forks go missing?
It’s not like there’s anyone else that lives here.
It’s just me and Hazel.
And I know where the forks belong.
So if it wasn’t me????? There is only one other person that lives HERE.Maybe someone knocked at the door and said … Oh hey can I borrow a fork? So Hazel gave them EIGHT &*&(ing forks?
ORRRRRRR …
Maybe they’re in the &*&^ing garage next to my steak knives.
And Hazel just sat there.
Not answering.
Pretending not to hear me.
And you know why?
BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE MY 8 )(*&ING FORKS ARE!!!!
Have a good day … And next year for Christmas Hazel is only getting a box of forks … And when Hazel sat down to dinner last night … HE DIDN’T HAVE A FORK.
Because I don’t know where in the hell the rest of the forks went.
And because I’m no longer using curse words, pretend *&*(ing means freaking. Or flipping.
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Another great blog to visit:
And Gretchen, thank you for always sharing my content!
xoxoxo
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Jody,
Much like the washing machine requires sacrificial socks, i sincerely believe the dishwasher does the same. In our case it requires the monthly sacrifice of a teaspoon. Preferably a virgin.
On a different note. On 99% of websites, i automatically ignore all the click ads. I don’t know why but i really want the rc helicopter your site is pushing with REAL firing missiles. Of course I just know i’ll shoot my eye out.
Jaime, as a blogger, I click on others ads when visiting their sites. We do make money from them!
So you should buy that helicopter!!!