A New Brides First Outdoor Experience

Written by:  Tom at Base Camp Legends

When two worlds meet it can create for interesting times.  Well, the world my wife came from was drastically different than the world I was raised in.  The collision of these two worlds came during the first year of hunting season during the first year of our marriage.  Elk season rolled around, and I was doing my best to be a responsible and dutiful husband, but the computer kept leaping in front of me and forcing me to watch hunting shows – once in a while.  Nothing extreme.  My wife thought it was a little extreme, but I assure you I never watched more than two consecutive dvds.  Unless it was absolutely necessary.  The season rolled around and I was excited to introduce my new bride to this way of life that I love so much.  We planned the hunt – I had my spot picked out, I had my rifle, my ammo, my clothes, everything I needed.  The night before the hunt, my wife wanted to make sure I’d packed everything. 

Wife: “Where’s our lunch?
Me: “In my pack.”
Wife:  Digs through pack. “All I see are a couple snack crackers.”
Me: “Yeah.  That’s lunch.  And supper if I get one and we’re late coming out.”
Wife:  Sighs and starts making sandwiches.
Me: “What are you doing? There’s plenty of food there.”
Wife: “No there’s not.”
Me: With the intuitiveness to understand that this debate is over,  I returned my gaze to the screen where another bull came screaming to the calls of some TV hunting star.  The hunter comes to full draw - 
Wife: “Did you pack water?”
Me: “Uh huh.”
Wife: “Where?”
Me: “Uh huh.”
Wife: Standing in front of computer monitor while I strain my neck to see around her, “Where is the water?”
Me: “You’re in the way.”
Wife: “No I’m not.”
Me: Intuitiveness pays off again.  “Umm, in the big pack.  Sweetie.”
Wife: “You should go to bed.  We have to wake up early.”
Me: “Uh huh.”
Wife:  Rolls her eyes and sighs. 

So the morning comes around, (as it’s bound to do) and I am thinking like I’m going hunting by myself still – I mean that I have prepared the way I’ve prepared for every other season.  I take the bare minimum and what I forgot, I do without.  Unfortunately, the weather looked rather ominous as we made our way into the woods on an early fall morning.  The higher we climbed, the worse it got.  Pretty soon snow started to fall and my first premonitions of something not going quite right began weighing heavy on my shoulders.  I glanced at my new bride.  She was sleeping in the passenger seat.  “Well, that’s ok,” I thought, “she just doesn’t quite have the same excitement and anticipation of this days events that I do, but that’s ok.  She’s making an effort and that’s all I can ask for.” 

We started our hike up the ridge in the dark.  I’m 6’1” and have long legs.  My wife is 4’11” (she says she’s 5’ – I’m not sure about that) and has – well, I don’t think I’m supposed to talk about women’s legs.  Let’s just say she takes short strides when hiking.  I took off up the mountain and after five minutes I turn to look at my wife – but she’s a hundred yards behind me.  It was trying on my patience – I wanted to get to my hunting spot by daylight.  I repeated to myself, “She’s making an effort and that’s all I can ask for.”  I waited for her to catch up, then asked her if she could hike any faster. 
Alright, ladies, calm down.  I realize – my mistake.  Won’t happen again. 

I took off again at a slower pace, but I kept getting way ahead of her.  My legs and lungs were used to this as I grew up charging up mountains after elk.  I think my wife had never given a thought about elk until she met me – and even then very briefly.  Daylight was just breaking and I was a long ways from where I wanted to be and I was doing my best to not be selfish – but it wasn’t working.  I was wondering how anyone could hike so slow, and when she caught up with me again, she said, “I need to go to the bathroom.” 

“Ok.  Hurry.” 

The temperature was hovering around freezing – and the “hurry” just slipped out.  I didn’t mean it.  But her glance told me that was a bit of an unreasonable request.  As I understand it, it is a little more of a process for a lady to go to the bathroom in the mountains than a guy.  Something that escaped my line of thinking at the moment. 

We made it up to the top of the ridge and it started getting real cold.  Then wet.  It would have been fine if it snowed – but this was that wet sleeting stuff that soaks you to the bone.  Combine all ingredients with temperatures around 33 or 34 and you get the makings of a real miserable day.  I was beginning to wonder what I was doing up here on the mountain.  I’m sure that question had entered my wife’s mind shortly after leaving the Jeep – now her question was likely somewhere along the lines of “Why did I say, ‘I do’?”  Instead, she mildly asked, “Can you get the rain slickers out?” 

I stopped in mid stride.  Rain slickers?  Right!  I dug in my pack and grabbed a plastic garbage sack I keep in my pack to carry meat in.  I cut a hole in the top and handed it to her. 

Wife: “Are you serious?”
Me:  “Are you wet and cold?”
Wife: Puts ‘rain slicker’ on.  

By the time we got to where I wanted to sit, the ground was sloppy muddy.  I got out another garbage bag and laid in on the ground and proceeded to sit on it.  My wife, getting used to the idea of how we were going to do things on this trip, hesitantly sat beside me.  The fog began to roll in and it was the thick stuff.  After 30 minutes, we couldn’t see much further than 20 yards. 

Wife: “What are we doing out here?”
Me: “Umm…I don’t know.”
Wife: :”Let’s go home.”
Me: “But elk might like this weather.”
Wife: “But you couldn’t see them unless they were right in front of you!”
Me :  “But -.”  No comeback.  She had a point.  She’s a fast learner and might make a good hunter, yet! 

I do admire her for trudging along that day – as it was about as miserable a day as it could possibly be, and combined with my terrible organizational skills, and being her first time hunting, it could have destroyed her desire to ever enjoy the outdoors again.  Instead, she has accompanied me on numerous occasions since then, but she packs her own pack, now.  I can’t quite figure out where she got this lack of trust in me taking care of both of us.

Tagged as: hunting, wife hunting, wifes first hunting experience, wives of hunters