Instead of our early Sunday morning exercise walk, my walking partner and I decided we’d hit the driving range and hit golf balls. We’ve never hit the driving range before because we’ve never golfed. I did take a golf lesson once many many many 20 some many years ago. But when you have a cute golf instructor, who pays attention to instructions? So I remember nothing.
Except that he was cute.
Anyway, before I share our golfing experience let me just say that even though my walking partner and I have known each other since high school, we are very very different:
Walking Partner Angie (Thelma): Spunky bouncy happy cheerleader that doesn’t sweat.
Me (Louise): Not spunky bouncy happy cheerleader that sweats. I played volleyball. And softball. We didn’t smile and spunky bounce. We’d sweat.
So of course, for our golf outing, the spunky tiny bouncy happy cheerleader that doesn’t sweat, shows up in a cute little spunky bouncy skirt.
She was excited and ready to have fun while I was all serious thinking … I think you’re suppose to bend your knees, one arm is suppose to be straight, don’t take your eyes off the ball, don’t hit it like a softball, why did I have to have a cute golf instructor, why didn’t I youtube how to golf before I left. &*&^
I’m serious when it comes to sports. And competitive. &*&^
And the spunky bouncy happy cheerleader bounced around not caring whether she hit the ball or not …
And then she’d turned to me and say in her spunky bouncy cheerleading voice …
Beat it, Louise!
Whack it, Louise! Whack it! Whack it! Whackitwhackitwhackit!
And I’d look up at her thinking … Are you spunky bouncy kidding me? And now I’m about to beat the hell out of my ball.
And I beat the hell out of my ball.
Then Thelma would hit hers all dainty and giggle …
And then she’d turn to me jumping up and down yelling …
Whackit Louise! WHACK IT!!! Whackitwhackitwhackit …
And I’m thinking to myself … because I would never say this out loud … okay … I would … but I was seriously trying to concentrate and my very own personal cheerleader was really cheering me on … so I was trying to be nice. But secretly I was saying to myself …
WHACK IT! WHACKITWHACKITWHACKIT ~ OH MY SPANKY PANTS STOP IT!!! No wonder volleyball players never hung around cheerleaders in high school! I’m seriously about to whack it all right. And how is she not sweating? I’m sweating my @$$ off. WHACK IT LOUISE!!! Yea that’s right Thelma … I’m about to whack it alright. I’m about to beat the hell out of this ball.
And then I’d beat the hell out of my ball.
And it would go about as far as a yard. Or I’d hit the plastic thingy holding my balls. And thank goodness no one was anywhere near us.
And thank goodness Thelma didn’t get a black eye.
From a loose ball.
911 What’s your emergency? There’s a golf chick out here on the golf course that just tackled another golf chick.
Have a good day all!