Camouflaged Humping Marshmallows … Whaaat?

by Jody Narantic on August 26, 2012

This is a guest post by:  Elizabeth Peterson from ~ Deer Passion

I hunt deer. I grew up doing it and I’m passionate about it now. Yet, there’s one thing that I still struggle with every year… tree stands.

1) I grew up hunting from the ground – Ground blinds or hay bales or something on. the. ground.

2) I’m scared of heights. Even small ladders terrify me. Why? I just prefer my feet on. the. ground. (Do you see a theme yet?)

3) I’m clumsy as %$#. Let’s face it, if I trip over an imaginary crack in the ground, I won’t suffer the same amount of injuries as.. let’s just say, for example… if I fall out of a tree stand.

Which, of course, brings us to the point of actually getting up in the tree stand.

My heart starts beating faster.. my palms get slightly sweaty.. and because I’m ALWAYS cold I have on about 5 layers of clothes.. so as I climb, I resemble something like a camouflaged marshmallow humping a tree.

Did I mention I’m already chubby? In fact, my entire family is slightly chubby.. Ok, not slightly. Just chubby. Except for my mom, she’s the chosen one.

So, back to the topic… I’m sure you’re all thinking I have on a safety harness right? Because that’s the safe and right thing to do? Well, duh!.. Of course I do. See point #3.

Now, my biggest fear isn’t actually falling out of a tree stand and hurting myself… it’s more the fear of falling out of the tree stand, and dangling upside down from the harness, and getting stuck that way…

An oversized, camouflaged marshmallow hung up for execution… like raw meat dangling over a pack of hungry wolves.

Thank God we don’t have wolves in Kansas.

Now while I know this would probably never happen, but IF it would happen to anyone, it would happen to me… and it would probably be caught on a trail cam and photos would end up all over Facebook and the Internet and I’d never live it down. Ever.

Lesson of the day.. Always wear your safety harness and never over think the situation. Otherwise you’ll just embarrass yourself by blogging about it.. on someone else’s blog.. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you Elizabeth :)
You can also follow her Facebook page ~ Deer Passion

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 gretchen August 26, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Elizabeth – great post! We are kindred spirits! I too want no part of getting my feet off the ground, am clumsy as #$%^, and chubby…..Yep I get it completely!

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2 Bill August 26, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Love it!! Ground hunters of America unite!

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3 Robin Follette August 26, 2012 at 11:46 pm

My first tree stand was 3″ taller than my butt when I stood flat footed. I wiggled up onto it and sat with my feet almost touching the ground. Technically, it was a stand and it was in a tree so it was a tree stand. The instructions didn’t say “put this so high up in a tree, like 5′ or something, and get vertigo.” Then I started bear hunting and there was no freakin’ way I was sitting in a ground (which I’d do now but not two years ago) so I climbed the ladder to a 15′ seat. It took me 10 minutes and the ladder shook so bad it registered on the Richter scale.

“Camouflaged marshmallow humping a tree…” I’ll laugh about that for days.

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4 Jim Burnes August 27, 2012 at 4:11 am

I can relate to hanging there hoping no one saw me there dangling. Great story. Thanks.

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5 Crista Forest August 30, 2012 at 3:40 am

lol….“Camouflaged marshmallow humping a tree…”
As a hunter, I’d be interested in knowing your thoughts on my blog post, “Save a deer, shoot a hunter”.
It’s not as it first appears so don’t immediately be turned off by the title. :)

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6 LarryB September 10, 2012 at 10:30 am

Hahaha, what a fine and funny post Liz! Can’t wait to read more of your stuff! Congrats on hook’n up with @DeerPassion too, what a freak’n powerful hunt’n team ya got go’n on over there girls! All the best. LarryB

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