Duck Hunting With Holly

I’m not a hunter, I just pretend I might want to be one…

Anyone that runs an outdoor blog is very familiar with Holly over at NorCal Cazadora.  As stated on her blog this is who she is:

Holly A. Heyser is a recovering newspaper reporter and editor who now teaches journalism at her alma mater, Sacramento State. She went on her first hunt at age 41 and immediately fell in love with the honesty, grace and humility of acquiring food the hard way.

“Acquiring food the hard way?”  Oh dear, that reminds me of the Tred Barta way.

If you read Holly’s blog, you can feel the passion she has for hunting.  It makes a non-hunter consider hunting.  And if I ever went ducking hunting with Holly, this is what would happen….

I’m off to California to duck hunt with Holly.  I can’t forget my wax.  Can’t go to California and not wax my legs…

Holly vs. THW

Pre Hunt:

THW:  Just so you know up front, I’m very competitive so don’t be all jealous if I catch more ducks than you.  Oh and I might use a bleep word or two so I apologize up front.

NorCal:  That’s just the kind of gal I like hunting with.  Except this isn’t a competition.

THW:  I didn’t bring any camouflage clothing because I figured I could just borrow yours.  Although I think my @$$ is bigger, I might have to borrow boyfriends.

NorCal:  You seriously need to stop yawning so loudly.

THW: I’m sorry. It’s from that sleeping pill you gave me.  For the love of a quack thingymajigger, I forgot mine. 

NorCal:  What is that on your arm?

THW:  I drew pictures of ducks like a cheat sheet from school.  It tells me which duck is which.  This is a speckled teal, this is a mallard, and this is a ring-necked duck.  Ohhhh, remember when you had to do that on your first hunt.  You told non-hunters not to read and I read and I wish I hadn’t read because I still think about what I read.  That won’t happen here right? 
 

Hunt:

THW:  Do we have to hide in this netting?  I have thigh-highs like this … bow-chicka-bow-bow.

NorCal:  What is that smell?  It smells like garlic.

THW:  I’m sorry. I have indigestion from boyfriends garlic crusted frog raw from last night.  I hope I don’t get a tummy ache out here.

NorCal:  You talk like you write on your blog.  It isn’t frog raw – it’s Foie Gras.

THW: Sorry.  I think I see a bird.

NorCal: No, that’s a plane.

THW:  DA Plane Da Plane.  Sorry! 

NorCal:  You want to learn how to duck hunt you need to be a little more serious and stop saying you’re sorry.

THW:  I can’t help it.  If I get all serious then I’ll get bored and nervous, have to tinkle and I can’t remember what bush you used ’cause I’m not using the same one.  This may be the all-girl-bonding-thing we got going on but I don’t use the same bushes. 

NorCal:  There’s a duck! 

THW:  Is that a speckled, cackled, brazilian, teal duck?  For the love of ducks, I didn’t write that one on my arm.  

NorCal:  I got it.  We need to trample through the woods, through that pond, over that hill.  I think it landed there. 

THW:  What is this Goldie Locks and off to Grandma’s house we go?  Isn’t that what hunting dogs are for?

NorCal:  It’s still breathing.

THW:  Oh no no no. I have to tinkle.

Post Hunt:

NorCal:  I’ve been hunting with a lot of females and I have to say this is one experience I will not forget.  Maybe next time you can just come to one of my classes.  That might help you much more.

THW:  Well I thought everything was going fine until you had to use that plucker thingy to pluck duck feathers just as I was trying to wax my legs.

Tagged as: california, camouflage, camouflage clothing, duck hunting, ducks, holly heyser, hunting, norcal cazadora, the hunter's wife, Tred Barta