It’s about this time every year my hunter is complaining at how cold he is. He is cold outside, he’s cold when hunting, he’s cold in his recliner and he’s cold in bed. I, on the other hand, suffer from “29 year old” hot flashes.
I know what your thinking – hot flashes at 29? Well, yes, it’s very rare at my age but I’ve got them.
Yes, November is when our winter wordless battle begins. He turns up the heat to 74 and I turn it down to 68. We have yet to come to a compromise. Nor can we come to a compromise about our flannel sheets with deer on them. They are hot, furry and can shock the $#!^ out of your @$$.
In all the time that Mark and I have been married we’ve never had a set of flannel sheets on our bed and every November I hear the same thing from my hunter, “Do you think you can put those flannel sheets on the bed?” And every November I say the same thing, “No” except this year it was in the middle of a hot flash…
“Mark, do you really give much thought to what you buy for me? While standing in the store did you think to yourself, hmmm my “hot” wife would love a pair of flannel sheets. Then did you really convince yourself that your wife is the outdoorsy type of girl that would love a pair with bears, geese, deer on them?”
I wasn’t finished, “Heck maybe you could have picked me up a long sleeve flannel nightgown while you were at it. You know, the kind that buttons up to my neck. That’s sexy and toasty. Rolling around in bed shocking the $#!^ out of my @$$. Oh while you were at it you could have gotten me a pair of those big huge furry slippers with the bear heads on them.”
Sometimes we wives just go on and on and on, “You know with all that fur and flannel on maybe there might be enough electricity on me to light up the room. Hell, there may be enough electricity on me to start a small fire. That’s just the kind of fire I like having in my bed. Oh and god help us if you had Troy’s problem we’d blow the house up.”
My hunter, “So that’s a no?”
For the love of my hunter who isn’t going to need a ladder to get into his tree stand anymore.
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Having not grown up in the country around hunters, I was mildly shocked the first time I went to Cabella’s with my hunter. I remember standing in the home goods section thinking – oh my gosh, is this what my house is going to look like??? I couldn’t believe that I was staring at a camo couch! Fortunately my husband lets me do the decorating, though we have made a few compromises when it comes to the stuffed animals on our walls (most of which are in our basement). And in Cabella’s defense – they have the best fudge!
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Oh my god. I was dying laughing at this one Jody. I know it was at your expense but I just couldn’t handle the second reference to your a$$.
So funny. Sometimes us hunters just put the blinders on and buy what we want. Although, I’m not really sure about this purchase. I’m always hot, so I would never buy flannel sheets.
Maybe he was just trying to be nice and wasn’t thinking about the shock to your, um, yeah, system.
I think you and my hubby and I and your hubby would get along well in this department – we’re at different ends of the temperature scale too! But my hubby puts up with the flannel sheets – I think he prefers it to the alternative which would be me in a flannel sheet
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I love my flannel sheets. I use them all year. I have to say, my sheets have never shocked my a$$. You must be electric or something.
As usual, this was too funny.
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I can sort of relate. I always tell people that I can get cold in the middle of summer if the wind blows just right. They usually look at me like I’m crazy because I will sit out in the woods all day waiting for a deer and the cold doesn’t seem to bother me then.
I know it doesn’t make sense.
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Jody, I was rolling on the floor with this one.
Here’s what I recommend: Buy one of those heated mattress pads with dual controls. You can leave your side off; he can turn his to high.
For bonus points, get a permanent marker and draw pictures of deer and pheasants and huntin’ dogs on it. On his side.
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Holly, that might just work. lol.
Jody, you continue to crack me up with your humorous stories of life with your hunting partner. I have never owned flannel sheets so really can’t relate to how they feel. However, my wife and I have great fun battling over the blankets. She is “Hot’ like you and I like to snuggle in my blankies!
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Jo – I know I am older than u (by only 6 months) I’m still waiting for those hot flashes. I will welcome them. I so tired of being cold!! By the way I finally answered ur email – sorry just got it, and also sent u a message on face book. Take a look. U can probably resolve those shocks by using a humidifier. U need some moisture in the air, especially if he is turning the heat up on u. lol
Talk 2 u soon,
Ami
Would Mark like some flannel sheets for the cottage at the river for christmas?
When I was younger I liked flannel sheets in the winter.
I know what you mean about getting too Hot! There was a point a while back I didn’t want hubby to sleep close because it made me so uncomfortable. We have a king-sized bed. Things are better, unless I get short circuited and decide to sleep on the couch with the television volume turned down low. Usually the next night I end up in bed ready for a good nights sleep.
Hope things improve soon, even if you never put flannel sheets on the bed.
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You are a hoot girl. That was sooooo funny! Never slept on flannel sheets before…I guess down here in the south we don’t need them. I had an idea for controlling the shocks….STATIC GUARD! That should do the trick!
LOL. Total sympathies. I’m a regular furnace in bed and sleep poorly in a warm room.
Fortunately, both my husband and I agree that about 65 degrees is ideal for sleeping. While he happily cocoons under a mound of blankets on his side of the bed, I sleep comfortably with a light covering on mine. We meet in the middle on those nights when I get cold. A really big bed helps.
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