Garage Sale Sniffer and Why I’ll Never Have Another

by Jody Narantic on August 14, 2012

A few years ago I had a garage sale. I didn’t want to have the garage sale because I normally give what I no longer need or want to family, friends or charity. But at the time everyone kept saying … Just have a garage sale … repeat … Just have a garage sale … So, I had the garage sale.

Thankfully my Mom and nieces were here to help. So we nicely separated my clothes, my husband’s clothes and the rest of the stuff throughout the garage.  People came, went, bought, left empty handed, and by day’s end I decided …

I’ll never have another garage sale because:

Reason #1 The Prior Homeowner Tour

Lady showed up at my house only because she recognized the address in the paper and wanted to see the house because she lived here about 10 years ago.  Of course the house wasn’t in order because I was having the GARAGE SALE.  But being the nice current homeowner, I gave the tour and uncomfortably explained why it looked so different.  Not that she had bad taste but … ick … wallpaper.

Reason #2 The Garage Sale Profits

All profits made that day were spent on appetizers, pizzas and drinks for all the party people now hanging out at my house because Jody took a day off work and let’s hang out at the garage sale.

Reason #3 The Garage Sale Sniffer

So there my Mom and I sat probably gossiping about the garage sale people. I can’t remember exactly but I can probably guarantee we were when in walks a girl that headed right for my husband’s clothes …

Garage Sale Girl: Is this your husband’s shirt?

Me: Yes. Those are all his clothes on that table. You need t-shirts? There’s a ton.

Sniff sniff sniff

Umm …

What was that?

What in the hell was that?

That did not just happen.

Sniff sniff sniff

Okay, that seriously just happened!

She just sniff sniff sniffed my husband’s shirt.

So I quickly poked my Mom (who wears short shorts ~ my Mother) in the leg because that’s what you do to get someones attention when you want to point out someone that … umm… probably eats checkers.

And because my Mother only talks about people when they’re not in the same room … she said …

OUCH!

Are you kidding me?

So then I put my hand over my mouth and tried to whisper …

Girl sniff sniffer

And Sniffy Girl looked up at me, so I quickly said …

Did you want to buy some t-shirts?

No. Umm. That’s okay.

And she left.

And as soon as she was out of sight, I stood up flipping out to my Mother yelling …

DID YOU JUST NOT SEE WHAT SHE JUST FREAKING DID?

(Okay, I might have said the other “F” word because I was freaked the f out)

What in the heck was that? SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF Sniffing my husband’s shirt!

As I am now sniffing my husband’s shirt.

Is this normal garage sale behavior?

Sniff sniff sniffity sniff

What was that?

Thank gosh it isn’t appropriate to sell lingerie at a garage sale. Sniff sniff sniffing my lingerie.

Who does this?

WHO IN THE HELL DOES THIS?

It wasn’t a sniff like is this stinky sniff -  It was a sniff sniff sniff  ~ ooh la la yummy sniff.

WHAT THE HELL?

Were we selling checkers?

Did she buy them?

Was she eating them?

Who seriously does this?

Waaaaaaa

And now I’m gonna have a nightmare.

Sniff sniff sniff ~ She wants to sniff my husband.

Where’s the vodka, please?

Have a good day all … and I’m still puzzled by this.  And always keep my doors locked.  And my husband isn’t allowed to wear cologne anymore. And I’ll never sniff him the same way I use to sniff him.


{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Linda Anderson August 14, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Hilarious! I am posting to fb. :)

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2 Linda Anderson August 14, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Ok, so the more I think about this, the more it is freaking me out….she actually asked whose shirts they were prior to sniffing? Why did she need to know that? What if they were not your husband’s? Would she have still sniffed? This will trouble me for a while, lol.

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3 Jody Narantic August 14, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Linda, it troubles me knowing she knows my husband and wanted to make sure it was HIS shirts. WAAAAAAA I’m not kidding. Checking door locks.

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4 James Lindley August 15, 2012 at 2:43 am

At least it was a woman and not another guy sniffing them. Now that would have been awkward.

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5 Jody Narantic August 15, 2012 at 3:14 am

James, lol I’m not so sure.

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6 gretchen August 15, 2012 at 5:36 am

OMG.. how do these people keep finding you? I don’t think any of your posts have ever made me laugh so hard.. oh this is a priceless one! Must share to the four winds LOL oh lordy.. still laughing and wondering…

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7 Jody Narantic August 15, 2012 at 6:05 am

Gretchen, I don’t know? I attract them I guess. Or, in this case, my husband attracts them.

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8 Cook Sherer August 15, 2012 at 9:31 am

Jody this can happen to only you. I had one garage sale in my 64 years of my life & I will never have another! Too many wierd people come to the sales that I don’t want to deal with. 2 more days for Fridays BIG GAME! Go Govs!

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9 Jody Narantic August 15, 2012 at 10:28 am

Cook, I will NEVER have another. Unless for entertainment reasons. :) Go Govs!!! I will be there!!!

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10 Barbara Baird - Women's Outdoor News August 16, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Ouch! I am laughing so hard it hurts my abdomen. Good one, Jodster. We should go on that 1,000 mile long yard sale and take Gretchen and that outdoor photographer from Wyoming and write about it for National Geographic. And only take the back roads to git there.
I dream …

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11 Michelle August 16, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I don’t know why, but I’m mOre offended by the previous homeowner than the sniffer. I mean, let the freakin’ house go. You are only going to be disappointed bc it looks nothing like it did when u left Well, both ladies were disrespectful. And weird. Go home.

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