Next door to my office I have an older neighbor lady. She’s been widowed for about 3 years. Since her grumpy husband passed away, I watch out for Grandma. If our power goes out, I walk over and check on Grandma. If something in the neighborhood happens, I walk over and check on Grandma. If I notice her blinds aren’t open by 10:00 a.m., I get worried because Grandma normally opens her curtains at 9:00 a.m.
I’m a nice nosy neighbor like that.
A couple of months ago we had a raccoon ripping up our shingles on our roof, so I thought I’d tell Grandma’s son when he comes to cut her grass.
Please note: I’ve never talked to Grandma’s son before the raccoon conversation. Nor was I sure the man cutting her grass was her son.
Nice neighbor me: Are you Mary’s son?
Grass cutting guy: Why?
Nice neighbor me: We have a raccoon ripping off singles on our roof and I wanted to let you all know in case you had a problem. Wasn’t sure if Mary has had a problem before or might have one now?
Grass cutting son: Why would you need to know?
Nice neighbor me: I don’t need to know. Just wanted to let you know so she doesn’t have a problem. I wouldn’t have known had I not seen shingles blown off the roof. We had to have many replaced. Just wanted to make sure Mary doesn’t have a problem.
Ass, I mean grass cutting son: I’m sure she doesn’t.
Nice neighbor me: Okay, thank you. Enjoy your day.
Who acts like this?
And then I’m sitting at my desk watching him go by on his tractor …
I knew you were grumpy man’s son. He was as mean as you. And why I only talked to him once. And that is all I’ll talk to you. Your poor mother.
And he’d go the other way …
And I would never wish evil on anyone.
But I hope you don’t go on the roof.
You might fall.
Or get bit by a raccoon.
And he’d go back again …
And if you think your tractor’s sexy, it’s not.
Have a good day all … I need to pull out my Ken-doo doll like Barbie-doo …
I do know a little somethin’ somethin’ about trapping raccoons now.
Oops Ass Cutting Grass Son just ran into a tree. And a raccoon fall off the roof and bit him.
People are mean.
911 What’s your emergency: I think the chick next door was trying to sick a raccoon on me and she got attacked.