Road Trip – Boys & Boobs

THIS POST IS RATED PG

For reference purposes, please note my Mom and sisters have big boobs. They are not just big boobs they are BIG boobs. (Sorry family.) I, on the other hand … well let’s just say mine won’t sag at 60. (Sorry me.)

About once or twice a year I take a family trip with my Mom, sisters, nieces, and nephew. It’s normally a long weekend to a cheer competition, to Georgia to visit my Moms long time friend, or to Kentucky just to get barbeque. For those who have never had southern Kentucky barbeque you are missing out. Starnes is our favorite.

This particular road trip destination was Georgia. Eight of us, 4 adult females and 4 kids,  in a van equipped with a CB radio. We had an 11 hour drive. The van looked like an apartment with blankets, pillows, books, snacks, drink – you name it we had it.

It’s important to note that my older sister was in the drivers seat, my younger sister in the passenger seat, my Mom and I behind them and the kids were in the back.

After a couple hours on the road and the kids settled we decided to turn on the CB and listen to the trucker’s talk. My older sister has a bit of a lead foot so we were listening for any mention of any cops ahead. This was our first CB radio experience.  It was actually entertaining listening to all their slang until we heard… “Billy Bob, you got a bodacious van full of beavers headed up your backdoor and you should see them there puppies.”

Even if you’ve never heard trucker slang, it was easy to figure out exactly what they meant.  So us nosy girls were in search of the van full of bodacious beavers.  We thought they must be some where in the area because we could hear them pretty clearly. But there was no van. We decided it was probably truckers from the other side of the highway.

As we start to approach a trucker ahead my younger, very gifted sister, who is in the passenger’s seat, looks up at the trucker as he’s looking down at her. Static then comes on the CB and we hear “Bodacious, Bodacious, Bodacious … those sure are some puppies.” For about 5 seconds we all sat there in silence and realized we were the “Bodacious Beavers.”

After the shock and laughter we decided we had a long trip ahead of us. What else is there to do on an 11 hour drive then have a little fun. We then hear driver #2 call up to driver #3, “Bobby Ray, bodacious puppies at your backdoor.” My younger, gifted sister quickly tells me to switch seats with her. I jump in the front seat and we slowly pass driver #3 and then we hear “Billy Bob, son, you need glasses? Those aren’t no puppies.”  I didn’t want to play anymore so I switched sits with my Mom as my sisters had a good laugh at my expense.

My older gifted sister slows down so driver #2 will pass us again. The CB static comes on and we hear “Bobby Ray, those sure are some puppies but that’s a different puppy.” As my Mom politely waves. My older sister, the driver, decides to slow back behind driver #1 and grabs the mike of the CB and says “Boys, you want to see some puppies … we got puppies.”

We put my 2 nieces, who are 5 and 7, in the passenger’s seat and we drive past all three drivers. We then hear laughter and one of the drivers say “Well I’ll be. You ladies sure do have yourself a sense of humor. I apologize for our rudeness. Where ya’ll headed?” We didn’t find it to be insulting, well maybe I did, but we had a good hour of laughter. We also got some tips on bounties and trucker slang and our new trucker friends turned out to be very nice southern gentlemen.

Please note;

• Driver’s names have been changed to protect their privacy.
• Kids weren’t aware of puppies. They just wanted to have the truckers honk.
• I should have never got in the front seat. I am scarred for life.
• Mom, I’m sorry for sharing this story and I promise word will not spread thru town. If you see Mrs. K at the grocery store, I’m sure she doesn’t know we were misbehaving.