Talk of the Town and the Traveling Disco Workout Pole

This post is rated PG.
Maybe R.
Probably R because what you might consider to be R, I probably consider PG.
And most of what I do, I share here.
Even if it isn’t all that appropriate.
So this isn’t all that appropriate.
But it’s what I did this weekend.

Before I begin, remember the producers in New York wanting me to do a Hunter’s Wife reality show? This might have been a perfect episode. But probably for HBO. Because it’s rated R.

Over the weekend, Thelma had to run to the local Lover’s Lane shop for a friend’s bachelorette party.

If you’re not familiar with a Lover’s Lane – they have cute little nighties and umm … you know … love toy things. (I kind of whispered that.)

After the initial thoughts of ….

What if someone sees us?
We’ll be the town gossip.
Oh hey! Did you see Thelma and Louise over the weekend?
I saw them walking into Lover’s Lane.
I knew they were into that kinky stuff.
Especially Jody. Do you read her blog?

As Thelma bounced around the shop finding boring bachelorette gadgets, I walked around looking at nighties …

My hips are too big for that.
OH MY N A K E D CUPCAKES.
Excuse me, where’s the top for this?
I’d have to wear this in the dark.
Alone.

Okay then. Moving on from the nighties.

OH MY!!!!

I hope no one sees me near the Fifty Shades of Grey love gadgets.

And we all know what I did next …

Excuse me, can you tell me what you use this for?

Interesting!

Ouch!

And what is this for?

OHHHH THELMA!!! Get over here. Hurry! You have got to hear this!

And then …

There it was …

OH MY DISCO POLE DANCING!

Thelma flip it around, I have got to take a picture.
Oh wait! Stripper girl is hanging upside down.
Flip it back.

Sales girl: This is so much fun! And sexy! It has disco lights, it’s easy to hang, and if your family or kids come are around, it’s easy to take down and hide. Or take with you somewhere.

Workout girl: Fun and sexy!?!? I would never! I’m thinking I could get one hell of a workout from this.

Oh Thelma! I have to have the traveling workout disco pole.

I can use it at home.
When no one’s home.
I can bring it to your house.
When no one’s home.
And it’s easy to carry around.

I can take it on vacation …

Oh my!

Where you going with that?
Ohhhh … ummm… to Bingo.

Have a good day all … I’m thinking I might need a helmet for the first few days of practice, though.

What is wrong with Jody now?
She has a concussion.
From sliding down a stripper pole upside down.