My husband Mark and I did something yesterday we haven’t done in awhile together – visit our parents. Our first stop was his Moms. She just had surgery on her knee a couple of weeks ago and can’t get around much. She mentioned she hadn’t had a haircut in a couple of months so my husband volunteered to trim her hair.
Jody: What?
Mark: I trim my hair all the time.
Mother-in-law: You sure you can cut my hair Markie?
(Jody thinking: OMG. PLEASE. NO.)
Jody: Maybe we can call her hairdresser to come to the house.
Mark: I can cut it.
(Jody thinking: Oh Mother-in-law, you don’t let your son cut your hair. I’m trying to save you. I know it’s your pain pills.)
Jody: I’m sure her hair girl will come to the house. MARKIE.
Mark: I can handle it.
Mother-in-law: Just a little around the ears Markie.
Jody: But…
(Jody thinking: Oh heavens. Wonder if there’s a bottle of vodka hid down stairs?)
My husband cut her hair and then I gave her a good shampooing. It actually turned out alright. Well, until her real hair dresser asks, “Who cut your hair last Marilyn?”
On to my parents house. My Dad was diagnosed with throat cancer 8 months ago and is still having a few issues. Because of some swelling he needs to write what he wants to say. After a few notes back and forth with my husband Mark, I took the notepad to see what my Dad had to say earlier in the day. Maybe he was having a good day and wrote love notes to my Mom.
But … well … is this what happens after being married 50 years?
Umm yea. The meatloaf was good but the squirrels are as fat as her. And the birds.
WT?
I need a cupcake.
I’m going to blame it on the pain pills.
P.S. – The spelling? My Dad use to do the newspaper crossword puzzles daily until he got sick. Instead, he has found his entertainment walking around the house with his gun holster on and his Colt in it.
P.S.S. – For those of you that don’t own a gun … his Colt is NOT a horse, it’s a gun. I thought he finally bought that lil pony I always wanted.
Have a good day all … my Mom and I are off to the gym right after I eat a few checkers.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
oh my – today’s post is as funny as ever. i live miles away from my parents – literally, a thousand miles – so you’ve given me a glimpse into what i’ve been missing. i need to send a gift to my sister (who lives “in town” with my parents!)
Cat, I think your sister needs a BIG gift. lol
I always enjoy reading your blog Jody! How funny. You take life’s simple matters and turn them into fun. God bless ya for that. I think your Dad is a character….now I know where you get it from! lol! I pray he does well & heals oh so fast! What a wonderful family you both have, the Holidays must be a real blast around your place!
Thanks so much for sharing Jody! Makes me wonder what my husband and I will be like when we hit that mark. Love your sense of humor!!!!
On a more serious note, my thoughts and prayers are with your dad and your m-i-l for a speedy recovery.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Oh man, I’d slap that notebook right out of his hand for talking to me like that!
Tonya, You have no idea just how much of a character my Dad is.
Patty, Yes it does make you wonder.
NorCal, Of all my readers I thought for sure you would be more interested in the Colt. lol I told my Mom to feed him peanuts tomorrow like he feeds the squirrels.
I’m actually not a gun nut. I love MY guns, but don’t really care about anyone else’s. (OK, the $120,000 shotguns I saw at the Beretta store in Manhattan were pretty sweet… But, still.)
Good call on your advice to your mom! Let us know how that goes…
I am always at a loss for words after reading your posts. LOL
Keep it up!
Oh Lordy, Jody! I am still LMAO about this. My parents are older, too – in their early 80’s and I find that there are whole conversations that sound just like what your dad wrote.
Too funny, Jody. I can’t even imagine myself trying to cut anyone’s hair. Kudos to Mark for pulling it off.
And sorry to hear about your Dad’s throat cancer. It sounds like your parents are quite the pair, though. It honestly reminds me of Raymond’s parents on Everybody Loves Raymond. Too funny.
And on a side note: my dad was diagnosed with the same thing a few years ago, and thankfully, all is well today. I’m sure your Dad will fight the good fight as well.