The Pervert ~ If the Shoe Fits

by Jody Narantic on September 3, 2012

I will be the first to admit I have a problem with saying things like they are without thinking before I speak.  If I thought about what might come out of my mouth I might not have said on Facebook the other day …

I was at Hooters with Mother Hooter and sister Hooter because … well … yes … and then my sister was all …

How would you like it if we said we were at House of the Flat Pancakes with you because … umm …  yea!

Girls with boobs are mean!

Anyway, so the other day I called a friend a pervert because they were acting like a pervert.  So I called them a pervert.  And then I had to go on about what might their Church people think of them and that it wasn’t very Christian-like.

I was really trying to be nice and helpful.

Until …

Umm …

They emailed me 2 bible verses.

This was one of the bible verses:

How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?

And I was all ~

Ummm

What?

Did they just call me a pervert?

I think they just called me a pervert.

And I swear I felt my Grandma pinch me.

Because that’s what she would do if I was acting up in Church.

And then I was all ~

I’m not a pervert.

They called me a pervert.

And they’re acting like I’m the bigger pervert?

I’M NOT A PERVERT!

And then I got all self-conscious thinking …

Am I a pervert?

Why would they think I’m the pervert?

And then I was thinking of a situation I might have acted like a pervert …

But I wouldn’t necessarily consider that acting like a pervert.

Think back …

Umm  ~ Oh My Pants on Fire – My friend Gretchen was doing a firemen photo shoot and I invited myself because of hot firemen.  I mean help with the photo shoot.

Or ~ Thelma got locked in the bathroom – I was secretly praying she couldn’t get herself out so I could call the local hot firemen to the recuse.

Or umm ~ Rolling Around Naked In Tents.

Or .. umm … ouch I Don’t Have Moves Like Jagger Because I Broke My Vajagger

Umm …

And … umm … oh my …

 

Have a good day all … I’ll … umm … be at bible study.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Phillip September 3, 2012 at 11:33 pm

We’re all glad to have you back! Right back in full form, no less!

Reply

2 ofieldstream September 4, 2012 at 12:16 am

Hmmm …

“Beneath the guarded veil of humor, trembles the shred of reality, cloaked, in ephemeral glimpses of the truth that lies within.” Sam Stovepipe, It Lurched!, Journal #4, 1912-1932

Or, as Eric Wilson’s narrator/protagonist, from his most recent novel, A Shred of Truth, says, “As fallible humans, we usually slip too far over one edge or the other – all wrath and judgment or all grace and love.”

It is difficult for us, the mere mortals of sentient society, to separate life in a balanced manner. But to acquiesce – and give up/in/out/over – to a lesser level of quality? It should-not/cannot/must-not/ be; let alone allowed. That is chaos and it [chaos] only runs free… free of reprisal harm … in the silicon world of unreal, virtualized reality.

‘Tis good on occasion to gather a full, choking, waft of the acrid odor of a left-turn-gone-wrong. Such ventures into the uncomfortable, help to strengthen; to rudder; to sharpen …the navigator. Both best, under-sail in full cognitive; alert; engaged; accustomed to playing ahead of the next unexpected lurch in the sea-of-life’s untenable surface.

Exfoliation presumed by some as a bit flakey, is in reality – cleansing. Enjoy your dip into the disembarrassment of self-assessment.

O’fieldstream

[NOTE: That's OK. Go ahead, look 'em up .. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/ ]

Reply

Leave a Comment

You can use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Previous post:

Next post: