by Jody Narantic on August 9, 2010
Yesterday I spent the day with friends while my husband shopped for a new bow for hunting season. My day was an emotionally exhausting one, so when I got home last night my husband briefly mentioned he did purchase a new bow and did a little practice shooting in the backyard.
After not having very much sleep and having a dog that needed to go out at 5:00 a.m. this morning, all I can say is this scared the ____ out of me…
Because…
1. We live in the city.
2. I’ve only seen one deer running down the street since we lived here.
3. We have a fenced in yard.
So a 5:00 a.m. non coffee filled scaredy cat can’t process what in the heck a deer is doing in her yard.
And I’m too tired to call my husband and complain.
Because it’s 5:00 a.m.
And I know what would happen…
Mark, that damn deer scared the ___ out of me. Why didn’t you put it in the garage when you finished target practice? Did you leave it out there on purpose? Please tell me you weren’t standing on the roof again target practicing? And I bet you had on all your camouflage. Pretending you’re in the woods and you’re the woodsy manly bow hunter man. With your hot new bow.
Jody, I’m at work.
K bye.
And now that it’s 5:30 a.m. and I’ve had 2 cups of coffee – that damn deer looks awfully familiar…
How dare he!
Have a good day all … I’m off to hide my deer in the closet and set out one of his …
by Jody Narantic on August 5, 2010
Over the past couple of months, my Dad has been in and out of the hospital. Some good days and some touch and go bad days. During one of his stays at the hospital, my Dad was in ICU and just waking from being out of it for days. My older sister was sitting on one side of his hospital bed, while my younger sister sat on the other.
Lucky for me I was standing at the foot of the bed where my Dad would focus first trying to say something …
Dad: (*&*()_
Oh no: What?
Dad: *()&*^
The 16 year old about to get yelled at: Dad, I can’t hear you.
Dad: Bring my dog up here.
OH MY DOG HEAVEN! The man doesn’t remember we put the dog to sleep almost 2 years ago. Why me. Why didn’t he ask my sisters before I got there. Help me!
Nervous daughter looking to her sisters to explain the situation to the man: He wants the dog up here. Oh my god … you tell him he’s dead.
Panicking.
Sweating.
Why is it always me in these situations.
It should be the older sisters responsibility. Because … well … she’s older.
Or the younger baby sister. That was babied. And still babied.
And so with that, 3 grown 40 year old women reacted to the situation as any 3 grown 40 year old something women would …
Oh my god you tell him.
I’m not telling him you tell him.
I’m not telling him.
Remember when I lied for you when you ditched, you tell him.
Remember when you had a big hickey on your neck, you tell him.
Remember when … oh hell…
I can’t tell you how torturing it is to have to be the one to remind their Dad his favorite sibling was put to sleep years ago.
And because of mean sisters, I had to tell him.
Look of panic and speechless.
For once.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Dad…
Help me!
And with that I received the Father Frown…
Angry Dad that can barely speak: I know the damn dog is dead. Bring the box up here.
Have a good day all … let’s hope I don’t trip and fall with the dog ashes while my sisters are vacuuming.
SHE DID IT!!!!
NO SHE DID IT!!!
by Jody Narantic on August 4, 2010
Yummy chicken legs!
Over the weekend we smoked chicken legs in our smoker.
Eww raw chicken legs.
And blurry yellow picture.
Sorry!
And half dead plant.
The cook of the family… Chef Barbie (The barbeque master)
Yummy chicken legs.
I’d post the recipe for ya’ll but .. well .. I never pay attention.
Because .. well .. a) My husband is the cook in the family and b) My husband is the cook in the family.
And I burn stuff.
Or never cook it long enough.
Or I’d forget to turn the smoker on.
And burn my finger.
All I know is he marinated the legs overnight in whatever he could find in the fridge and cabinets. Little this, little that. And my fridge was stinky.
As for the barbeque sauce; Little this, little that.
It was really good!
And that’s all I need to know.
Have a good day all … And pass the ranch dressing!
More information on our Cabela’s Electric Smoker we use.
by Jody Narantic on August 3, 2010
I’ll be the first to admit – my bike trail, the one a few steps from my backyard, hasn’t seen so much of me as it has these past couple of summer months. Not because I’m working off the cupcakes but because …
Auntie Jojo, can we please go for a nature walk?
Bouncing around like cute little girls do.
And after trying my hardest to ignore cute-bouncy-girl and nature walks, one not so nice stomping child needed a nap …
Which had nothing to do with ignoring cute-bouncy-girl for as long as I did hoping I could sit quietly in the backyard with my feet up.
Paaaleaaaaaseeee!!! Can we go for a nature walk?
So off we go.
Except we’re not allowed passed the bridge.
There’s snakes on the other side.
I’m a bad auntie.
But it’s far!!!
And I’m somewhat out of shape.
Somewhat.
Ummm…
And so I’ve been spending quite a bit of time being forced on nature walks.
Auntie Jojo … Do you think you could walk a little faster?
And instead of chugging along like a bike-trail-workout-want-to-be .. I find a way to take a break …
How about you squirrely girlies climb on that rock and be rock stars.
And with that, cute rock stars rocked it and … well … I love my bike trail bench.
Enjoy the rest of your day all!
by Jody Narantic on July 29, 2010
While I was off on my mental break, my husband worked 5 – 18 hour shifts. Which meant I was left home alone to attend to all the household chores. By myself. Just me. In charge. Which included any manly chores as well.
Thankfully Meier’s Landscaping was in charge of maintaining the grass cutting but everything else was of up to me. Watering, cleaning, laundry, shoe smacking spiders, etc.
On one of the “I’m home alone woot woot” days, I spent a couple hours outside watering the grass and flowers, cleaning the patio furniture and filling the pond with water. I was getting a little water happy with my hose. But once I get my water bill, my “If you like it than you shoulda put some water on it” dance won’t be so fun anymore.
After the water chores, I headed indoors to the sink to do a few dishes. With just myself home I was enjoying a nice, quiet, clean house. If you’re a regular reader you should know I love being home alone! I love deer season. I love that my husband and I can have our “alone” time. But just as I was enjoying that moment of “alone” time I looked outside at the pond and there it was…
A dead floater frog in my pond.
Belly up.
In my pond.
Floating.
Dead.
Floating huge frog the size of my pond – in my pond.
Dead.
Help me!
Scared wife missing her husband phone call: Um Mark…there’s a dead frog in the pond.
Mark: Jody I’m at work.
Scared wife that never calls her husband during working hours unless it’s an emergency: Well there’s a dead frog in the pond.
Mark: I’m at work Jody. It’s just a frog. You’re a big girl.
Big girl: ^%$# bye.
Why do things like this happen while he’s gone? This one year at home alone camp, I couldn’t even turn the irrigation system on without mooning the folks on the bike trail.
I stood there for a few minutes, realized I need to be a big girl, thinking about my options.
- Do I scoop it up and throw it in the garbage? Oh my frog heavens no – can’t do it.
- Do I scoop it up and run to the bike trail and throw it over the fence? Oh my frog heavens no – I’ll drop it and end up stepping on it. Or falling on it. Probably falling on it.
- What if it’s still alive? Maybe if I scoop it out and flip it on it’s belly he might hop away. But what if he takes his last hop of life breath and lands on my foot? Oh my dead frog!
And then I did what big girls don’t do…
I’m so ashamed…
I left it there. Floating. Swearing I’d never look at that pond again. But each morning I’d run to the window and peek out to see if floater frog was still belly up and there he’d be. Suffering in my pond.
Have I mentioned how much I miss my husband when he’s gone.
I hate being alone.
911 what’s your emergency: Umm hi, there’s a dead frog in my pond.
Have a good day all!
Image from: RJ-Fountains & Ponds and I just may have to buy him.
